


Pink Sequins

by Ruuger



Series: Episode tags for The Mentalist [11]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s04s19 Pink Champagne on Ice, Gen, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:18:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruuger/pseuds/Ruuger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tag for "Pink Champagne on Ice". Jane and Lisbon discuss Lisbon's 'performance'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pink Sequins

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the advent calendar at [Paint It Red](http://z13.invisionfree.com/Paint_It_Red/index.php?).

Lisbon stretched her back, working out the kinks in her muscles as she watched the deputies lead Trish away.

"Next time, Van Pelt gets to be the one in the box."

She gave her neck one more stretch, and then headed towards the car with Jane in tow.

"She wouldn't fit," he said. "You, on the other hand, were made for this. Just a little more work on the reveal, and..." He made an okay sign with his thumb and forefinger, and clucked his tongue. "...perfect."

She stopped, and turned around to face him.

"Is that how you see me? An assistant to the Amazing Jane?"

Jane tilted his head, as if measuring her. "You know, now that you mention it, I think you would look rather fetching in a sequined bodysuit."

She smacked his arm. Hard.

Jane scowled, rubbing the place where she'd hit him. "You really need to work on those violent tendencies. If I were you, I'd ask for my money back on that anger management training you had last year."

She raised her hand to smack him again, and he took a quick step backwards, his hands raised in surrender. Once he was well outside her reach, he let out an exaggerated sigh of frustration, as if she was the one who was being unreasonable.

"Do you know what's the biggest secret in magic?" He asked.

Lisbon gave him a suspicious look. "Is this one of those things where, if you tell me, magical assassins will come and kill us both?"

He ignored her remark with a dismissive wave of his hand. "The biggest secret in magic is the magician's assistant."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know this. The secret is," she said in a sing-song voice, "that the assistant is really there just to look pretty and distract everyone while the magician does his thing." She crossed her arms. "You do realise that you're just digging yourself deeper into a hole here?"

"Ah, but that's not the real secret. Have you ever seen a magician saw someone half?"

When she nodded, he continued.

"How do you think it's done?"

She sighed. "Magic?"

"While I loathe to be the one to break your illusion, there is no actual magic involved in it. How it's done, is that while the magician distracts the audience, the assistant slips into a secret compartment that protects her from the blade. The success of the trick depends entirely on her ability to create the illusion."

He leaned closer, looking at her straight in the eye as he touched her arm.

"The biggest secret in magic is that in all the really impressive gags, it's the assistant who does all the work, and the magician is the one who's the distraction. A great magician is nothing without a good assistant."

Lisbon held his gaze, swallowing down the emotions brought on by his momentary honesty, no matter how circumvent, and then tilted her head. "So if the magician really just the distraction, why is the assistant's the one who has to wear the sequined bodysuit?"

He gave her arm one more pat and turned away, a smile playing on his lips. "Would _you_ want to see Penn and Teller in sequined bodysuits?"

She let out an amused snort, and followed after him. "I'd pay good money to see you in one," she said, slipping her hand in her pocket. She realised it was empty just as Jane opened into the driver side of the car and sat behind the wheel. " _Jane_. Give me back my keys!"


End file.
